How To Develop A Self-Reliance Mindset

There is probably no one who wouldn’t benefit from developing a self-reliant mindset. Think about it; all it means is that you rely on yourself more. It’s freeing, you are more independent, and your success or failure isn't tied to anyone else. If you’ve been alive for more than 5 minutes, you've been through some ups and downs. We all have. Life's thrown its fair share of surprises your way. But here's the thing – maybe it’s time to reassess how you approach self-reliance.

Embracing self-reliance doesn't mean you shut out the world and turn into a lone wolf who stubbornly goes it alone. It's about finding the sweet spot between independence and knowing when to lean on your support networks. Simply knowing that you can stand on your own two feet will provide you with the confidence to excel in all areas of your life.

Today, we're dipping into a topic that's near and dear to many of us: self-reliance. Yep, that's the ability to rely on yourself and handle life's curveballs with poise. Read on for the 5 distinguishing qualities you need to be more self-reliant.

• Believe in yourself.

You must have the unshakable belief that you can stand on your own two feet, or you will never become more self-reliant. The power of self-belief permits you to tap into your limitless potential and navigate life's challenges with resilience and determination.

Let's talk about the ambitious journey to self-reliance! It all starts with your belief in yourself. The first step to becoming a total self-reliance champion is to FEEL more self-reliant. Embrace those experiences that shaped you and made you wiser than before.

Remember, self-reliance isn't a destination; it's a journey filled with endurance and flexibility. Mistakes, everyone makes mistakes along the way – that's how you learn and grow even stronger. Surround yourself with a supportive group of friends and family who believe in you and remind you of your inner strength.

• Assume responsibility.

If you want to be more self-reliant, then you need to assume responsibility. Your actions lead to real consequences, and you need to be responsible for them. If you make a mess of things, you need to own up to those events. Your decisions, whether large or small, ripple through your life and can have both positive and not-so-positive effects on your present and future. So, embracing responsibility is about recognizing that you’re not immune to slip-ups and owning them when they occur.

When you make a mess of things, and you will at some point, everyone does. It's empowering to stand tall and say, "Hey, I made this mistake, and I'll take charge of fixing it." Laying the blame on others or expecting them to sort things out for you won't lead to growth. Instead, accepting responsibility becomes a catalyst for learning, progress, and resilience. True self-reliance shines through when you bravely face the outcomes of your choices and learn from them.

Being responsible allows you to break free from a victim mindset, where you're at the mercy of external circumstances. When you assume responsibility, you gain the power to shape your destiny and learn from the tough times.

• Learn to think for yourself.

You must avoid group thinking and think for yourself. This doesn't mean that you espouse the opposing viewpoint on every issue, but make sure you understand and believe in the things you talk about. If you have a view on something, ensure your stance is not just what everyone else thinks. Challenge yourself to comprehend the topics you discuss, question assumptions, and form genuine viewpoints that resonate with you. By doing so, you'll ensure that your convictions are more than just recycled ideas repeated from others but rather a product of sincere thought and reflection.

The path to true self-reliance involves the courage to be independent in thought and action. It's easy to get swept up in the current popular opinions or societal pressure, but being self-reliant requires maintaining a clear sense of self and principles. Stand firm in your beliefs and convictions, even if they differ from the majority. Validate your ideas by exploring various perspectives and considering their implications. Trust yourself to form educated opinions, and don't shy away from expressing them, even if they challenge the status quo. Remember, self-reliance empowers you to stand confidently in your unique identity and have your authentic voice heard.

• Be your authentic self.

You should understand what your core values are and what you believe in. Furthermore, it helps if you also behave in ways that reflect those values. Don't pretend or try to be someone different in the hopes of impressing others. It seldom works anyway. If you want to be more self-reliant, you need to be always comfortable in your skin. It’s a testament to your confidence and authenticity. Recognition of your true self enables you to face any storm, unaffected by outer judgments or opinions.

So, take the time to explore what truly matters to you, the principles that guide your decisions, and the causes that ignite your passion. The beliefs that form your core values direct you through life's twists and turns. Once you've discovered what your core values are, you can align your actions with your beliefs. Let them be what drives you, the constant that keeps you true to yourself. Walk the talk and lead by example, showing the world who you are. Authenticity is magnetic, whereas people are repelled by fraud. Embrace your uniqueness and let your true self shine, for that is when you'll attract people who appreciate and respect you for who you genuinely are.

Recognition of your true self enables you to face any storm, unaffected by outer judgments or opinions.

• Make your decisions.

You aren't self-reliant if you run to someone else for help making every decision. True self-reliance demands that you take ownership of your decision and assume the responsibility that comes with it. Seeking guidance and advice from others can be valuable; relying on someone else to make every decision for you is like giving away your power.

Instead, self-reliance empowers you to trust your instincts, rely on your judgment, and make choices that align with your values and aspirations. It's not about having all the answers or never seeking advice; it’s about having the courage to choose independently. Embrace the decision-making journey, and don't be hard on yourself if things don't always go as planned.

Accept the discomfort of making choices, knowing it's a stepping stone to growth and self-assurance. When you make decisions, you're more invested in the outcomes, learn from both successes and mistakes and ultimately grow into a stronger individual. Remember, the decisions you make shape the path your life takes. However, the final call rests with you, and you’re the one who must live with the outcome.

• Five more suggestions.

These are short and sweet and help make the above ideas easier to accomplish.

1. Take care of yourself.

   A part of self-reliance is taking care of yourself. You must be sure both your mental and physical well-being is taken care of. A poor spell of mental or physical health will almost guarantee your reliance on others.

2. Commit to being a lifelong learner.

   It’s important to commit to constantly learning if you want to be self-reliant. The world and your needs change; you must learn and grow, so you are ready to face these changes independently.

3. Know what you want.

   If you want to be more self-reliant, you need to know exactly where you want to go and what you hope to achieve. What's the point of being self-reliant if you aren't following your own goals?

4. Identify your dependencies.

   It's important to know who and what you are currently dependent on. Identify your dependencies. This way, you will know what kinds of things you need to learn to do yourself.

5. Determine your values.

   Take some time to determine the core values that you hold and why. What are the things that you believe in, no matter what? Understanding and being true to these is an important part of self-reliance.

In conclusion, self-belief is the cornerstone of a fulfilling and empowered life. When you trust your abilities and worth, you become an unstoppable force, ready to conquer your dreams and aspirations. Remember, self-belief is not an overnight achievement. Embrace the process, be patient with yourself, and celebrate every milestone.

Additionally, personal responsibility, thinking for yourself, authenticity, and independent decision-making are the pillars that support your journey to self-reliance. Taking ownership of your actions allows you to create meaningful change in your life and the lives of others. Thinking independently permits you to form authentic viewpoints that resonate with your core values and experiences. Accepting your true self attracts genuine connections and meaningful relationships. And making your own decisions emphasizes your confidence and autonomy, guiding you toward a life filled with purpose and fulfillment.

My final thoughts are.

Self-reliance is one of the best mindsets anyone can have because it encourages you to take charge of your own destiny. The moment you recognize that no one is coming to save you, and you exhibit the confidence and ability to save yourself, you unlock a world of possibilities and personal growth.

For more information about self-reliance, please visit these posts.

Self-Sufficient People: 18 Things They Do Without Realizing It.

Be Independent And Stand On Your Own.

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10 Ways To Get More Abundance From Your Senior Years

Gram’s Wisdom 54

No matter where you look, you will see the signs of a society obsessed with youth culture. People who are on magazine covers, TV shows, and run social media. There are countless advertisements about regaining your youthful exuberance or keeping your skin looking young. My Gram was interested in all of that because she was always interested in people. How they behaved and why.

I don’t think Gram ever gave much thought to being old. She had told me when she was 85 that officially she was old. But I never saw any evidence of it for the next dozen years or so. At the drop of a hat, she would get on a plane and visit far-flung family. We went to concerts and plays. Gram set the bar very high. No one got to tell her that she couldn’t do what she knew was possible.

Still, for many, entering your older years can make you feel a little down – but only if you allow it, though! Take it from Gram, it’s just another age you haven’t been yet. Accept it and enjoy it.

If you are struggling with that, try these ten tips.

Explore new or old hobbies.

With your children grown up, and gone, you may find you have more time to yourself.  Embrace this newfound freedom by exploring hobbies that pique your interest. What a perfect chance to pick up a new and exciting hobby. Consider painting, where you can express yourself through vibrant colors and brushstrokes. Alternatively, you might try gardening, immersing yourself in the tranquility of nature while cultivating a beautiful and thriving space.  

Choose something you have always wanted to do and go for it! If you enjoy engaging yourself in stories, why not try your hand at writing? Maybe begin a book club to connect with like-minded individuals who share your love for literature. What about that old hobby you didn't have the time to do? Maybe it’s time to see if it’s still a good fit for you. The possibilities are endless, and this is your chance to begin a fulfilling journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

Plot or follow a new path.

C. S. Lewis said, “You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream.” Now that your children are grown, you may find that you yearn for exciting experiences and new adventures. You might have reached more than a few goals to get to this point, but that doesn't mean you can't set more. Consider traveling to far-off destinations. Whether it’s an exotic beach destination, a bustling city, or a quiet mountain retreat, now is the time to create new lasting memories. Setting goals in your later years will help you stay active, motivated, and satisfied.

If you prefer a more introspective approach, you can embark on a journey of self-discovery through meditation or mindfulness practices. Taking the time to connect with your inner self can bring a sense of peace, clarity, and renewed purpose to your life. The possibilities are endless, and this chapter of your life presents many opportunities for personal growth and fulfillment.

Keep moving as long as you can.

Regular exercise is important for anyone. But it is especially important as you age. Make sure you get enough cardio in but don't be afraid to lift heavy things. Weightlifting will help you retain the muscle mass you typically lose as you age. In addition to cardiovascular exercise and weightlifting, incorporating flexibility and balance training into your routine is crucial as you age. Engaging in activities such as yoga or tai chi can improve your flexibility, enhance your posture, and help prevent injuries caused by falls.

Give some thought to exploring low-impact exercises like swimming or cycling, which can be gentle on your joints while still providing a great workout. It’s also important to prioritize rest and recovery days to allow your body to heal and recharge. Remember, staying active and maintaining a well-rounded fitness regimen will not only benefit your physical health but also contribute to your overall well-being. You can promote a healthier, more energetic you, as you make the journey of aging gracefully.

Let go of other people’s expectations.

There are those people who will say that after a particular milestone age, you should sit in your rocking chair and be quiet. No! Do not allow anyone to tell you what you can and can't do because of your age. Embrace your independence and live life on your terms, defying societal norms and expectations. Age should never limit your choices or diminish your sense of self.

Explore new fashion trends, experiment with different styles, and express your unique personality through your clothing choices. Wear what makes you feel good. Listen to the music you like, and dance to the beat of your favorite tunes; immerse yourself in the music that connects you to cherished memories. Participate in activities that excite you and make you feel alive.

Your age should never be a barrier to experiencing the richness and fulfillment that life has to offer. Remember, you have earned the right to live authentically and embrace every moment with a sense of adventure and purpose. You aren’t obliged to accept society’s expectations of what it means to age. So, let your spirit soar, and inspire others to challenge the limitations imposed by ageist stereotypes.

Spend time with a variety of ages.

Interacting with people from all different age groups will help you keep things in perspective and provide opportunities for personal growth. Spending time with your grandchildren will reignite your childlike wonder while reminding you of the importance of playfulness and curiosity throughout life.

Similarly, spending time with your teenage family offers insights into the evolving youth culture as well as the challenges and joys of youth. Permitting you to be happy with your maturity and appreciate the wisdom and experiences you have gained over the years.  

Additionally, spending time with older relatives allows you to witness the wisdom and resilience that comes with age. Let it inspire you to embrace the present moment and look forward to the adventures that await you in the future.

Embracing these diverse interactions fosters empathy, understanding, and an appreciation for the different stages of life. Enriching your journey and helping you cultivate a balanced and appreciative outlook.

Keep your health in mind.

Your health should always be one of your priorities. Prioritizing your health includes more than just physical exercise. A balanced and nutritious diet plays a vital role in fueling your body with essential nutrients and promoting overall well-being. Incorporating a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins into your meals can provide the necessary vitamins and minerals for optimal health.

Also, don't overlook the importance of mental well-being. Engage in activities that reduce stress, such as meditation or mindfulness exercises. Consider seeking professional help or counseling if you experience any mental health challenges.

Alongside physical and mental health, remember to schedule regular dental check-ups to maintain oral hygiene and prevent dental issues.

Lastly, don't forget to prioritize your eye health by scheduling regular eye exams to detect and address any vision-related concerns.

By taking a proactive approach to your healthy habits, you can nurture a fulfilling life while minimizing the risk of potential health complications. Regular appointments with your family doctor will help keep you on track.

“Getting old isn’t for sissies.”

— MAE WEST

Stay active in your community.

Physical stimulation is important, but so is mental and social stimulation. When you stay active in your local community, it engenders feelings of connection. Be it volunteering or joining a service club, you will feel more satisfied and happier in general.

• Explore local museums and art galleries, taking in the beauty of culture and history.

• Join a local club or organization that aligns with your interests. Whether it's a book club, a sports team, a hobby group, or a community theater.

• Attend community events, such as festivals, fairs, or fundraisers, to soak up local culture and meet new people.

• Volunteer for a cause or organization that resonates with you, offering your time and skills to make a positive impact in your community.

• Interact with friends and family by organizing regular social gatherings, game nights, or outings.

• Take part in community projects or initiatives, such as neighborhood clean-ups, community gardens, or mentorship programs, contributing to the betterment of your local area.

These are just suggestions, and you can adapt them to your personal interests and community opportunities. Participating in mental, social, and physical activities will help you lead a more fulfilling and connected life.

Be a lifelong learner.

It is never too late to learn something new. Embracing a lifelong learning mindset opens endless possibilities, regardless of age. With the advent of the internet, knowledge and resources are at your fingertips. Making it easier than ever to learn something new. Online platforms offer a wealth of courses, tutorials, and educational materials on a wide range of subjects. Allowing you to explore your interests and expand your skills from the comfort of your own home.

If you prefer a more interactive and communal learning experience, look for local classes or workshops in your area. Engaging with fellow learners and instructors in person can foster collaboration, discussions, and the opportunity to build connections with like-minded individuals. Remember, it's never too late to begin a learning journey, and the joy of acquiring new knowledge and skills knows no age limit. Stay curious, embrace the learning resources available to you, and enjoy the process of continual growth and self-improvement.

Remain positive.

Keeping a positive outlook as you are aging can have huge effects on your overall well-being and quality of life. By consciously choosing to think and act positively, you can cultivate a mindset that promotes happiness and contentment. It's important to acknowledge that staying positive is a continuous effort and may require practice. If you try to think and act positively, you will likely feel it. If you struggle with positivity, try a mindfulness technique like meditation or journaling.

Engaging in regular meditation sessions allows you to calm the mind, observe your thoughts without judgment, and cultivate a sense of positivity. Similarly, journaling provides a safe space to explore your emotions, reflect on positive experiences, and set intentions for a brighter future. Remember, developing a positive mindset is a journey that requires patience. Surround yourself with supportive and uplifting individuals and celebrate even the most minor victories. By embracing positivity, you can approach the aging process with resilience and a greater sense of joy.

Practice deep gratitude.

Understanding the distinction between deeply felt personal gratitude and everyday common or transactional thankfulness is essential for cultivating a richer appreciation of life. Every day, you experience moments of common thankfulness. Such as expressing gratitude for a delicious meal, a kind gesture from a friend, or a beautiful sunset. These instances of gratitude arise from acknowledging the positive aspects of your life and can contribute to a universal sense of well-being.

However, deeply felt personal gratitude goes beyond these everyday moments and observes a sense of appreciation that emanates from the core of our being. It involves acknowledging the blessings, lessons, and growth that come from life's challenges, hardships, and even losses. Deeply felt personal gratitude requires reflection, introspection, and an awareness of the interconnectedness of your experiences and the impact they have on your life. It allows you to find meaning or find silver linings in difficult situations and fosters a sense of contentment and resilience. By developing this deeper level of gratitude, you can cultivate a transformative perspective on life, enhancing your overall well-being and relationships with others.

My final thoughts are.

If we are lucky, we get to grow old. How well we live as we age depends so much on our attitude. Life can feel much shorter if you spend it complaining about your age. As for me, I wake every morning, thankful to be alive, looking forward to another day of opportunities. Just as my Gram did, for more than a hundred years.

For more information, read these posts.

10 Simple Ways To Age Gracefully.

How Exercise Increases Energy And Vitality.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

Choose A Happiness Mindset

Gram’s Wisdom 30: Define happy

Happiness is such a personal thing my Gram told me. She believed each person must define their happiness, that there is no one-size-fits-all guide. Often, she told me it’s easy to be happy when things go your way, but that is an external source of happiness and doesn’t last. And, why so many people are unhappy.

From the time I was young, all I wanted in life was to be happy, to have a happy mindset. Gram said I, and others, could think happiness into being, that it is a choice. But it must be more than just a wish. She had said, what it takes is an understanding of what grounds you and has a heartfelt meaning for you.

I saw my Gram live a happy life. She had normal sadness and disappointments, but they never kept her down for long. “There will always be someone worse off than you”, she frequently reminded me. Instead, her choice of internal happiness kept her smiling and looking forward to better days.

What does it take to make you happy?

If you've ever felt dissatisfied with your life, a job, or any other professional situation, you've probably heard this old saw; do what makes you happy. However, this advice isn’t particularly helpful, and it's also misguided. Truthfully, you can’t always do what makes you happy. But you can still choose to be happy.

These days, the pursuit of happiness is a deeply ingrained concept. We're taught to believe our lives should be happy, and we're encouraged to do whatever it takes to achieve that.

But, like everything else in life, happiness isn't that simple.

What happiness is

In its most basic form, happiness is a sense of more positives than negatives in life. Some may tell you happiness refers to what you can get from others and your environment. In short, you're happy when your material and emotional needs are met.

Look at Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Outmoded or not, it gives us a good idea of what people need to be happy and the importance of each of those areas in our lives - from basic biological needs like food and shelter to more elevated needs like self-development and creativity. In other words, it explains human nature in terms that most of us recognize.

However, satisfying our needs doesn't always make us happy. And in many cases, that comes in direct contradiction with the happiness we seek.

For instance, a job that covers your basic needs for food, shelter, and security could be standing in the way of your need for creativity, flexibility, and autonomy.

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On top of that, there is a tendency to assume happiness is static, as something you either have or don't. However, this isn't the situation, at all. Instead, happiness is flexible and transitory.

Is the quest for happiness illusory?

Not fundamentally. Instead, to find happiness, you need to redefine it, first.

You can redefine that happiness by making it broader -- it's not just about the good feeling you get when your needs are met, or when you receive something pleasing from someone else. For some, it’s about what you can give or do for others, and how giving affords you a purpose and a connection to your community.

According to psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, giving helps you reaffirm your very humanity. It makes you forget yourself and give yourself to the person in front of you.

Change your focus

With that in mind here are 5 simple things you can do to switch the focus from your thoughts and needs to someone else's.

1 | Listen to others. Approach every conversation as a chance to connect with a person. So, instead of just waiting for your turn to speak, pay attention to every word the other person is saying. Notice the tone of his voice, his body language. And don't forget to ask questions.

2 | Make something for someone. Can you knit, make origami figures, or draw? Can you cook or bake? Make something and give it away. Never expect anything in return.

3 | Volunteer your time. Take five minutes to think of what's important to you. What are your values? Is there a cause you'd like to champion? Do you have time or skills to give away to that cause?

4 | Kindness is never a waste of time. Make it a purpose to be kind to others every single day. Believe it or not, little acts of kindness have a contagious effect. Compliment someone. Notice if she did something with her hair. Help him with his groceries. Offer to do some extra work to help a colleague.

5 | Mentor someone. We all started somewhere. We've all been lost, confused, and exhausted. Perhaps, you have answers and insights that can help someone beginning his/ her journey.

By giving, you're creating connections with those around you. Life stops being just about seeking self-satisfaction and it takes on a deeper layer of commitment and meaning. Life is no longer all about you. It's about producing a positive effect on other people's lives. Moreover, you can be happier and more fulfilled.

My final thought

The happiness mindset I wanted so dearly as a young person has been my favorite mindset for more years than I can count. I wake up happy and grateful every day because it is my choice. Because of it, people who know me believe I have a perpetually sunny disposition. Because of it, I am resilient. You too can choose happiness, define it into being, and live a less stressful more positive life.

Thank you for reading this post. Please share it with someone you love.

For further information, you might like this post by Lalisa Doniho

5 Reasons Why Happiness Is All About Your Mindset

Or this past post of mine

It’s Your Life Discover Your Path To Happiness