Flourishing In The Face Of Life's Challenges

Each one of us takes a unique journey in life, and along the way, we encounter common challenges that shape us as individuals. No one's life experience is the same as someone else’s. That isn't to say there isn't any commonality at all, though. These challenges can serve as opportunities for growth, self-discovery, and resilience. It's quite possible that how we respond to these challenges will shape our entire life.

These common challenges are universal experiences that many people face. From dealing with loss and rejection to navigating career changes and understanding ourselves. Additionally, overcoming past traumas, the ending of relationships, and health issues that serve to make us feel like failures.

These challenges are part of everyday living and while they may be difficult to navigate, they can’t always be avoided or ignored.

How will YOU respond to these nine common challenges most of us face?

Coping with loss.

A loved one passing away is something no one can escape. At some point - and often multiple points - in your life, you will lose someone you love.

Grief is a complex and individual journey, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to coping with the pain of losing someone dear. It is important to allow yourself to grieve in your way and at your own pace, recognizing that there is no right or wrong way to mourn. Some may find solace in talking openly about their feelings and seeking support from friends, family, or support groups. Others may prefer to process their emotions privately.

It is crucial to be patient and kind to yourself during this time. Understanding that healing takes time and that there is no set timeline for letting go. While it may be tempting to try and push away the pain, it is important to acknowledge and honor the emotions that arise from the loss of a loved one. Allow yourself to feel the full spectrum of emotions. Including sadness, anger, guilt, and even moments of joy or laughter when reminiscing about the person you lost.

Taking care of your physical and mental health is essential during this time. Engaging in activities such as exercise, meditation, or therapy can help you navigate the difficult emotions that arise. Additionally, finding healthy ways to commemorate your loved one, such as creating a memory box or writing letters. Participating in rituals or ceremonies can provide a sense of closure and help keep their memory alive.

The opinions of others.

While it would certainly be nice to escape the opinion of others, good luck getting through life without dealing with it.

Whether it is friends, family, or random strangers, people will have an opinion on how you are living your life. The key is to know your core values and stick to them no matter what other people think.

Dealing with someone's negative opinion of you can be challenging, but some strategies can help navigate such situations. It's important to remember that you cannot control how others perceive or judge you. It's essential to focus on your self-esteem and not allow someone else's opinion to define you.

One effective approach is to practice self-reflection and self-awareness. Evaluate the validity of the opinion by considering whether it is based on accurate information or simply a subjective judgment. If there are aspects of yourself that you feel need improvement, you can use this feedback as an opportunity for growth.

It's also important to surround yourself with a supportive network of friends and loved ones who appreciate you for who you are. Their positive reinforcement can counterbalance the negative opinion and remind you of your value. And remember that the only opinion that truly matters is yours.

Rejection.

It would be shocking if you coasted through life without the bitter sting of rejection.

Being rejected can be a painful and challenging experience, but it also offers valuable opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Rejection teaches you resilience. It’s through facing rejection and overcoming the associated emotions that you develop strength and learn to bounce back. It reminds you that setbacks are a natural part of life, and you can persevere and learn from them which leads to personal and professional growth. 

Rejection can provide valuable lessons in self-reflection and self-improvement. It encourages you to assess your strengths and weaknesses, identify areas for growth, and make necessary adjustments. It provides an opportunity to reassess your goals, aspirations, and the paths you have chosen. Rejection can push you out of your comfort zones, urging you to explore new avenues, acquire new skills, or seek alternative opportunities. Ultimately, it is through the process of reflection and self-improvement that you can transform rejection into a catalyst for growth.

Career change.

Some people are fortunate enough to finish school and go into a job that carries them to retirement. While that sounds nice, most of us will have to go through some career changes in life.

Here is a list of 10 things that can help you navigate this transition:

• Assess your skills, interests, values, and passions. Reflect on what truly motivates and fulfills you in a career.

• Explore different industries and roles that align with your interests. Learn about the job market, required skills, and potential growth opportunities.

• Connect with professionals in your desired field. Attend industry events, join relevant online communities, and seek informational interviews to expand your network and gain insights.

• Identify skills from your current experiences that can be applied to your new career. Highlight these skills on your resume and during interviews to demonstrate your value.

• Consider acquiring new qualifications or certifications to augment your knowledge and credibility in your desired field. Take advantage of online courses, workshops, or vocational training programs.

• Gain practical experience and exposure to your desired industry through volunteering or internships. This can help you build applicable skills and expand your network.

• Tailor your resume to highlight relevant experiences and skills for your new career. Update your LinkedIn profile and other online platforms to attract potential employers.

• Consult with career counselors, coaches, or mentors who can provide valuable advice and support throughout your career change journey.

• Consider the financial implications of a career change. Review your budget, savings, and potential income changes to ensure a smooth transition.

• Career changes take time and effort. Be prepared for setbacks and rejections along the way. Embrace the journey and be open to new possibilities.

Figure out who you are.

It can take a long time to figure out who you are. Often you spend your entire youth trying to pinpoint it. 

Understanding oneself is a lifelong journey of self-discovery and personal growth. There are no simple questions. Yet, humans have been struggling to find simple answers for ages.

Here is a list of things that can help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself:

1. Set aside time for introspection. Reflect on your values, beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, passions, and goals. Journaling can be a helpful tool for self-reflection.

2. Ask trusted friends, family members, or mentors for their insights on your strengths and areas for improvement. Their perspectives can provide valuable insights into how others perceive you.

3. Take personality assessments such as Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), Enneagram, or Big Five Personality Traits. These assessments can offer insights into your personality traits, preferences, and behaviors.

4. Engage in activities that genuinely interest and excite you. Explore new hobbies, take classes, or join clubs or communities that align with your interests. This can help uncover new aspects of yourself.

5. Develop emotional intelligence by paying attention to your emotions and understanding how they influence your thoughts and behaviors. Practice mindfulness and self-compassion to deepen your emotional awareness.

6. Set short-term and long-term goals that align with your values and aspirations. This process can provide clarity on what truly matters to you and help you align your actions with your desired outcomes.

7. Step out of your comfort zone and embrace new experiences. Travel to new places, try new things or engage in activities that challenge you.

8. Read books, articles, or listen to podcasts that explore topics related to self-development, psychology, and personal growth.

Overcoming your past.

Your past may not include any serious trauma or skeletons in the closet. But everyone has some regrets and bad decisions.

Reflecting on the past is good, but you can't continue to live there. Being able to move beyond the past is an important part of all your experiences. Begin by acknowledging that your past is a part of your life but does not define your present or future. Accept that you cannot change what has happened, but you have the power to shape your present and future choices. Practice self-compassion and forgive yourself for any mistakes or regrets. Understand that growth and personal development come from learning and going forward, not dwelling on past actions or events.

Direct your energy and attention toward the present moment and the possibilities that lie ahead. Set goals and create a vision for the future that aligns with your values and aspirations. Take steps to make positive changes in your life, whether it's seeking new opportunities, building healthy relationships, or acquiring new skills. Surround yourself with supportive and uplifting people who believe in your ability to change and grow. Cultivate gratitude for the positive aspects of your life.

The end of a relationship.

You’ve heard the stories of high school sweethearts living their lives happily ever after. Many people, though, will likely go through a few relationships before finding “the one.”

The end of a relationship can be a massive upheaval. But eventually, you need to get up, brush yourself off and put yourself out there again.

Here are some steps to help you let go, heal, and move forward:

1. Permit yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship. Allow yourself to feel the sadness, anger, or confusion that may arise. Express your emotions through journaling, or talking to a trusted friend or therapist.

2. Focus on taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Prioritize self-care routines, get enough sleep, and maintain a balanced diet.

3. Reflect on the relationship and the lessons you've learned. Identify any patterns or behaviors that may have contributed to the end of the relationship. Use this self-reflection as an opportunity for personal growth and development.

4. Lean on your support system of friends and family. Share your feelings and thoughts with those who care about you. Connect with others and try to engage in social activities or hobbies that bring you joy.

5. Establish boundaries with your ex-partner to create space for healing. Limit situations that may trigger negative emotions or reopen wounds. Unfollow them on social media to minimize reminders of the past. Give yourself time to heal before considering any form of contact or friendship.

6. Reconnect with your identity. Focus on personal goals and aspirations. Embrace this opportunity for personal growth and to shape your life according to your desires and values.

7. When you feel ready, be open to the possibility of new relationships. Move at your own pace and prioritize your emotional well-being. Be patient and allow yourself to naturally connect with someone who aligns with your values and supports your growth.

Health concerns.

Life comes at you very fast if you suffer a severe health issue. Even a less serious health issue could change the way you live your daily life.

Regardless of the severity, most people will have to deal with medical issues, their own or others. Helping yourself and others with health issues involves a combination of personal care, support, and empathy. Learn and understand the specific health issues you or others are facing. Research reputable sources, consult healthcare professionals, and ask questions to gather information. This knowledge will empower you to make informed decisions, offer support, and provide accurate information to others.

Prioritize your health and well-being. Ensure you are taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional needs. Maintaining a balanced lifestyle includes regular exercise, proper nutrition, sufficient sleep, and stress management techniques. By taking care of yourself, you'll have the energy and resilience to provide support and care to others. Encourage others to adopt healthy habits as well.

Show compassion and understanding to those dealing with health issues. Listen and provide a safe space for them to express their feelings and concerns. Validate their experiences and offer reassurance. Simply being present and listening can provide immense comfort. Help with practical tasks such as accompanying someone to medical appointments, organizing medications, or assisting with household chores. Offer to connect them with counseling, or support groups that can provide additional assistance.

Failure.

Good luck trying to get through life without failing at something. The reality is everyone fails at some point, which is a good thing. Failure can be the best lesson you will ever learn.

Take the time to reflect on your failures and identify the lessons they hold. You learn a lot about yourself in the face of failure. Understand the factors that contributed to the setbacks and analyze what could have been done differently. Use these insights to refine your approach and develop strategies for future endeavors. How you choose to react to failure will shape your entire life. Embrace failures as valuable learning opportunities that can lead to growth and improvement.

Reach out to trusted individuals who can provide constructive feedback and guidance. A mentor or coach can offer valuable insights, share their own experiences of overcoming failures, and provide support and encouragement. Additionally, consider expanding your network and connecting with like-minded individuals who have experienced similar setbacks. Sharing experiences and learning from others who have overcome failure can provide motivation and inspiration on your journey.

My final thoughts are.

In most of our lives, we will face half of, if not all of the above challenges. As the stoics tell us, it is how we respond to the challenges we face that shapes us.  

For more information, read these posts.

Tolerate The Large Challenges In Life

The 7 Logs: Common Challenges We All Face In Life

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Top 5 Ways To Get More Lessons From Life

Gram’s wisdom 50: Lessons from other sources.

Do you sometimes feel like you’re not getting enough out of life? I believe we all have those moments. My Gram once told me that you can never know it all because there is always more to learn and it’s difficult to do without help. Now my Gram was the lifelong learner you may have heard about. She understood one of the easier ways to learn life lessons comes from the experiences of others.

The many lessons Gram taught me over many years were not all her own experiences. She got real-life examples from her friends and from the people she met in her job as a waitress. And Gram was an avid reader. She loved books about people who tell the story of their mistakes and how they overcame them to become successful.

Gram told me we can save ourselves pain and time if we are willing to learn from others. She said we should watch how they handle difficult situations and decide whether we would like to emulate their behavior. What I learned from my Gram is that whatever the source, taking the time to learn from other’s mistakes and successes is always worthwhile.    

Use these five tips to get more lessons from life and you will find yourself happier, more accomplished, and more knowledgeable than ever before.

Be adaptable.

If you want to get more out of life there are few things more important than being adaptable, you must be able to go with the flow. The ability to adapt to change is what allows us to grow in an ever-changing world. It’s what lets us leave our comfort zone and take advantage of new opportunities and overcome challenges.

Try things you’ve never done before if you get the chance, even if it doesn’t necessarily fit into your plan for that day or that week. Goodwin.edu posits that flexible people are also more inquisitive. They aren’t afraid to ask “stupid questions” and might get some great learning experiences out of them. Being flexible doesn’t mean being a pushover. It doesn’t mean the sacrifice of your principles or the compromise of your values. It means being open to new ideas and willing to change your plans if necessary.

The most successful people are usually the most adaptable. They’re the ones who are looking for new prospects and willing to take risks. They’re the ones who are willing to change their minds when they’re proven wrong. So, for more life lessons, be adaptable, be open to new ideas, be willing to change your plans, and always look for new opportunities.

Begin a journal.

Journaling is a terrific way to find out more about what your subconscious is feeling and thinking. This activity gives you a method to track your thoughts and feelings over time. To look back and see how your attitudes and outlooks have changed. As you read about your life’s events and reactions, it can be a helpful way to work through difficult situations. Writing things down is a great way to make sure you don’t forget important lessons you learn and can also be a fun way to document happy memories. experiences you have, and people you meet throughout your life.

Beginning a journal is easy – you only need a notebook and a pen. Decide how often you want to write in your journal and set aside some time daily or weekly. The point is to just get your thoughts down on paper, so don’t worry if your journal entries aren’t perfect. Over time, you’ll find that journaling feels more natural. And, when you look back on yourjournal,l what you will find is a treasure trove of valuable life lessons.

Ask questions.

It’s important, if you want to grow and learn, that you ask questions and listen to the answers. You can learn a lot by asking people the right questions. Globalcognition.org sites that research has shown that even asking and answering your questions helps you learn, understand, and remember. They also found that conceptual questions, such as giving reasons why something happened, help you learn better than detailed questions, such as facts and figures. But often people are afraid to ask questions because they don’t want to seem uninformed. However, everyone must begin somewhere and there’s nothing wrong with being curious and asking questions.

Here are four quick tips on how to ask questions.

• Don’t be afraid to speak up.

If you’re unsure about something, it’s better to ask a question than remain silent and risk misunderstanding.

• Be specific.

Vague questions can be difficult to answer and may not give you the information you’re looking for.

• Be prepared to listen to the answer.

If you’re asking someone for advice or information, be ready to hear what they have to say. They may not tell you what you want to hear, but it’s important to be open-minded.

• Be grateful.

If someone takes the time to answer your question, be sure to thank them. A little appreciation goes a long way.

Asking questions is a great way to learn more about the world and the people around you. So don’t be afraid to speak up and ask away!

Read, read, and read more.

To get more life lessons, you should read as much as possible. There is so much information out there for those who are willing to look for it. Books can provide insights into different cultures and how to deal with certain situations. Reading takes you out of your limited view to find new perspectives on the larger world.

If you are interested in people rather than events, you can read biographies. These will show you how other people deal with life’s occurrences that you could not possibly experience for yourself and the lessons they learned from them. Even a work of fiction can teach you a lot about the world and human nature.

Seek out books and articles about topics that interest you or try some unfamiliar ones that might surprise you. It’s important to choose wisely what you read. Just like everything else in life, you should be selective and not accept everything at face value. Read with an open mind, but consider what you’re taking in. Think about whether the author is presenting a balanced view of the subject.

There are a great many books to choose from, so where do you begin? If you are unsure about what you’re interested in, or you are looking for recommendations, try asking your family or friends. Once you have a few titles, look them up in your local library or online. See if any pique your imagination and look like something you’d enjoy reading.

Reading can be a fantastic way to learn new things, or just while away the time. So, make sure to take advantage of this by picking up a book when you have some free time.

Never give up.

In life, we frequently face obstacles or challenges that seem far too large for us to handle. It’s easy to feel like throwing in the towel, but it’s important to remember that giving up is never the right answer. Give up too often, and it becomes a default habit.

So, if you feel like you’re struggling, maybe it’s time to approach things from a new perspective. You may not see immediate results but persevere, and you will ultimately reach your goals. Regardless of how difficult things appear, remember that if you persist, you can find a way to overcome your challenges.

Each failure as well as each success is a learning experience that can help you grow. Keep trying, and you’ll soon have the life you want.

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For more information, read these posts.

10 Important Life Lessons We Are Often Taught Too Late.

How Good Are Your Adaptability Skills?

My final thoughts.

While lessons don’t necessarily sound like a good time, there are ways of learning that can be interesting, exciting, rewarding, and fun. So, begin asking questions, pick up a good book, or organize that vacation that you’ve always wanted to take. Begin making the most out of your life and learning about all it has to offer.

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Finish What You Started

Gram’s Wisdom 33 The value of persistence

My Gram often spoke of the value of what she called, “seeing things through.” People today call that follow-through. Her thought was, “if it needs to be done, it needs to be complete.” She also liked to tell me the adage of quitters never win, and winners never quit.

Gram called me stubborn as a child. My husband also has made this observation occasionally, but cautiously, as I see myself as being merely resistant instead.

Since I spent time with my Gram as a girl, she often oversaw my homework or school projects. I believe I was a normal kid, so, I breezed through the things I liked effortlessly and would drag my feet and grouse about those things that seemed like work. Not acceptable to Gram. She had a strong belief in the lessons we learn from what we don’t like, or don’t want to do.

What has this to do with persistence? The words stubborn and persistent are synonyms. Yet, they are also seen as opposites. Stubbornness is seen as a negative, an unwillingness to make changes. While persistence is viewed positively, it’s a willingness to succeed no matter what.

“Energy and persistence conquer all things.”

— Benjamin Franklin

Strategies to build a persistent mindset

When it comes to completing a task, or project, have you felt overwhelmed, Do you ever choke under the pressure and wonder if you can finish? If this has happened to you, you may have ended up feeling embarrassed and intensely disappointed in your abilities. 

Even though your need for a result is great, the effort you must put in, or the time required to complete the task might make you want to give up. Where do you stand when it comes to persevering until a job is complete?

It can be easy, or at least not awful if we can do the projects we want. Unfortunately, in the game of life all too often your tasks get chosen for you. The boss hands you a project, or life says cook, clean, wash. How can you persist when you’re challenged at every turn in meeting your goals?

If you struggle to complete what you start, these STRATEGIES can help you attain a persistent mindset.

Being consistent.

Sometimes, it feels like you’ll never get there. When you feel that way, remind yourself you must simply keep on going. If you continue working consistently toward your goal, chances are good you’ll ultimately accomplish it. Many people look for this skill, whether in the workplace or in their personal life. They want to know that they can count on you to work hard to do what needs to be done regularly.

Note what you’ve finished so far.

When you can see some fruits of your labors, you get another surge of motivation to keep going. Maybe you completed 10% of the project last week. That’s 10% less than what you must do to finish. Pat yourself on the back. Have a critical awareness of what you’ve already completed as well as what you have left to do.

Emphasize the positive.

Whenever you stay focused on the positive, it just makes it easier to continue moving steadily forward. Having a positive attitude is a choice, so take advantage of it.

Avoid underestimating the time it will take to finish.

We’ve all had the experience of thinking we know how long we will spend completing a particular task, only to discover it takes much longer. If you must make an approximate guess as to how much time you’ll need, it’s better to overestimate.

Make a vow to finish what you’ve started.

Staying mindful of what you want to do and why you want to do it and then vowing to finish will serve as motivation to help you keep your nose to the grindstone. Promise yourself you’ll persist until you succeed. Then, when you have done it, you may bask in the warm fuzzies of accomplishment.

Identify when you must tweak your results.

There may be times when you wish to slightly alter your end goal. After all, situations and people change. Particularly for long-term projects and goals, stay focused so that you’ll identify when it’s time to make alterations.

         If what you want has changed, it’s okay. Just revisit the goal, tweak it, and continue moving forward.

Consider setting mini-goals.

If you need some extra motivation along the way, you might benefit from setting smaller interim goals that you can easily accomplish. It feels good to see that you’re achieving your mini-goals. The momentum you gain is astonishing.

         Chances are pretty good that you’ll be successful. And when you are, you can rejoice at the moment, and set another mini-goal ensuring you continue forward to the completion of the task.

Being persistent can be a challenge that’s well worth the effort. Be consistent and take note of what you’ve done so far. Stay as positive as you can and avoid under-estimating the time it will take for job completion. Vow to finish and stay aware of what you’re doing, so you can adjust your goal if you need to. Finally, consider setting mini-goals to persist until you finish the task.

Reasons you may want to persist

On the off chance, you are resistant to persistence, and many people are, (no judgment) look below at the list of benefits of persistence. These benefits are byproducts of the persistent attitude you are trying to build. 

Consequently, they don’t take more effort or energy on your part. If you persist, you can’t fail!

9 Benefits of persistence:

1. You become an expert. Chances are that the first time you try something, you might not be good at it. However, once you’ve done the same task numerous times, you’ll soon become better and better, becoming an expert at the task in the process.

2. Persistence motivates you to try harder. When you try and try, you’ll move a little closer to your goal with each attempt. This will help motivate you as it will show that your determination makes a difference.

3. Persistence is a sign of ambition. Only those who are truly ambitious can bring persistence into their daily lives. Therefore, the most successful people you know are also those who are most persistent.

4. You’re a good example. Whether you’re setting an example for your work colleagues or your children, if they see that you’re unwilling to give up when you face adversity, they’ll be more motivated to try harder at their challenges.

5. Persistence reveals the value of success. Being successful takes time and effort. No one ever becomes successful without making sacrifices. Focus on being persistent with your time and efforts.

6. Persistence provides crucial experience. When you’re persistent, you learn that each failure gives you another opportunity to learn. With each failure, you’ll become more resilient. You’ll also learn how you can overcome any challenge.

7. You become more aware of your weaknesses. To achieve success at anything, it’s important to understand your weaknesses. When you look at your failures, you’ll discover your faults and learn what you need to work on to become successful.

8. You’ll learn that things that come easily seldom bring many rewards. Harder tasks may require more work and consistency, but they offer much greater rewards in return. Isn’t it worth making that little extra effort to achieve greater rewards?

9. You’ll be able to create the life you desire. With persistence, you’ll be able to glide through life’s obstacles. You’ll seek solutions to overcome your challenges and keep moving forward to build a life that satisfies you.

My Final Thought

Persistence is essential, as rarely does anything of worth in life come without it. Most often, you’ll need to work hard for what you want. Still, your persistent mindset can allow you to accomplish whatever you set your heart on.

For additional information, there are two posts below.

Be Unstoppable: The Importance Of Persistence In Business

5 Tips To Improve Your Concentration

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How Your Mindset Influences Self-Discipline

Mindset influences on people

According to Stanford University psychologist and researcher, Carol S. Dweck, there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who have a fixed mindset and those with a growth mindset. Let’s delve into how your mindset influences self-discipline.

Look at the difference between fixed and growth mindsets?

People with fixed mindsets believe their characteristics, traits, and skill-sets are set in stone and, therefore, can’t be changed. They are more likely to attribute success to natural talent and feel strongly about – and proud of – their current level of perceived brilliance, skill, or brainpower, rather than looking for improvements through hard work and focus.

People having growth mindsets, quite to the contrary, assume that talent, skill, and intelligence are changeable and can grow with practice, learning, and hard work. They acknowledge that wherever they stand, there is always room for improvement. They view success as attainable regardless of the starting point. No aspiration is too large.

Your fixed mindset can be the bane of self-discipline

If you follow Dweck’s model, it’s easy to see how a fixed mindset is the enemy of self-discipline. Let’s say, for example, that you want to lose weight. Maybe you compare yourself to a very slim or physically fit friend.

What if you hear this friend say things such as “I’ve always been small,” “I have a fast metabolism,” and “No matter what I do, I just can’t seem to gain weight!” This person seems to eat and drink whatever they want, never exercise (as far as you know) and look fantastic. While you, on the other hand, can’t seem to lose weight no matter what.

You conclude that you “just have a slow metabolism,” “accept that you’re probably not meant to be any smaller,” and believe it’s beyond your power to make the change you desire.

The truth is that your fixed beliefs are holding you back from reaching your goals, nothing more. Your fixed mindset robs you of your power. It puts space between you and the idea that although it may take more effort than you’re accustomed to, you can change if you choose.

It's all about perspective. More often than not, people who’ve achieved results you only dream of have generally put in much more work and effort behind the scenes than is evident on the outside. They just don’t talk about it.

Think about “overnight celebrity.” Tales of people who seemingly come out of nowhere to instant stardom. You’ve never heard of them before, then suddenly you see them everywhere and they make it look so easy. Yet, when you look at their past, you find that they’ve been working extremely hard for years, finally had a big break, and now are reaping the benefits of the seeds they’d been sewing for years.

A fixed mindset is often closed to ideas of hard work, patience, determination, persistence, trial, and error, and learning as you go. Yet, these are the exact traits that self-discipline is all about.

“Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Having a growth mindset makes self-discipline unavoidable

Just as a fixed mindset is the enemy of self-discipline, a growth mindset supercharges self-discipline and positions it as the top tool in your goal-setting toolbox.

Let’s return to our example of weight loss, assuming a growth mindset this time. What changes?

Well, first of all, you acknowledge that you may have struggled with your weight in the past, but you decide that it has no bearing on your future. You’re positive you can change.

If you do think you “have a slow metabolism,” rather than assume it’s preventing you from losing weight, you’ll go to the doctor, have some tests run, and gain concrete evidence of such and recommendations for how to improve the situation.

Furthermore, you educate yourself on healthy, sustainable weight loss methods, taking your lifestyle, preferences, and limitations into consideration. You realize that the process may take some time, and it won’t always be fun, yet you’re aware of why you want to lose weight in the first place, commit to the goal and believe that with time, focus and determination, you can make it happen.

What is your mindset?  

In ‘Mindset: The New Psychology of Success’, Dweck explains that it’s common to have a fixed mindset in some areas and a growth mindset in others.

If you’re naturally introverted and more on the shy side, you may have low confidence in social situations. Yet a growth mindset may push you to step outside your comfort zone and go to events where you’ll meet new people and try new things. On the other hand, since you’ve always been shy, perhaps you spent lots of time reading books and studying as a younger person, thus effortlessly achieving academic success. You may consider yourself “naturally smart” and have a fixed mindset in this area.

How to change your mindset

Taking the first step to improving your self-discipline is to become self-aware. If you examine your personality and find that you have a fixed mindset, understand that you can change. Dweck explains, “Mindsets are just beliefs. They're powerful beliefs, but they're just something in your mind, and you can change your mind.”

My final thought

I believe that most of us have some fixed and some growth mindset traits. I also believe that whatever mindset traits make up your majority is fine. You are in control of your mindset and the changes you make.   

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