You Are Worthy

Why do so many people find it hard to believe in their worthiness? After all, we go around spouting things like “you can do it”, only when they fail, they fall apart because they have no feeling or belief in their self-worth. Now, they are unsure of how many others are unworthy, but they are certain that they are unworthy. How do we recognize self-worth, and is it truly important?

Let’s explore this belief called self-worth.

The importance of self-worth

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to believe in your essential worth. If you don’t have an awareness of your worth, it can be difficult for you to connect with others at a level that is beneficial to them. Without this essential feeling of self-worth, you may allow yourself to settle for less than what you deserve in life.  

Your view of yourself can be hard to see

How you view yourself can be tricky to fix in your mind’s eye. So often you assume others have a clearer window to see who you are. Many people live their lives based on that false belief. Rather than, loving and respecting the person you are, you allow your self-worth to be dictated by who someone else believes you to be.

Reaching a high level of self-worth

Attaining a high level of self-worth may not be easy. But it brings with it satisfaction. Perhaps, you didn’t have the perfect parents to cheer you on. Not to worry. Self-worth can be learned from teachers, mentors, or friends. To help the learning process, don’t forget to dump the negative thinking, and negative talk, replace them with positive equivalents. 

The importance of self-worth in relationships

Self-worth is particularly important in relationships. A lack of value in yourself, will nearly always have you settling for less than you deserve in a partner because you can’t imagine meeting your “dream” partner and falling in love with them - or more accurately, you can’t believe they’d ever fall in love with you. This can lead you down a path that is not only unhealthy for you mentally, and emotionally, but physically as well.

Self-worth leads to better self-care

When you feel unworthy, you don’t see the importance of self-care. The trouble with this is the tailspin it can put you in. You think you don’t deserve to take the time for yourself. You begin to feel unwell. You talk negatively about yourself. Now you feel depressed. 

Instead, strive for a healthy level of self-worth. It will keep you cared for, loved, satisfied, and safe from unavoidable bumps in the road, that might otherwise bring you down. If your self-worth is intact and healthy, you become resilient.

“Our sense of self-worth is the single most determinant of the health, abundance, and joy we allow into our lives.”

— Dan Millman

Innate self-worth, is that even real?

Throughout our lives, we’re subject to good times and bad times, and each of these external events helps to develop our self-esteem. Self-worth, on the other hand, is something that happens internally, without the need for any external confirmation.

You are valuable

Your self-worth is inherent — it is the power of your belief that you have value because you are a human being. That you merit what you desire, and that you are inherently “good enough” to have it.

Another way to think of it is like this: failing at something will not affect your self-worth because you know that failure and success are simply two sides of the same coin — both of which you need in your experience to become a well-rounded person. Therefore, the worth you feel never changes — because you always know that you ARE worthy, no matter what.

You are worthy

You are born a worthy individual — it is simply a part of what makes you, you. You may increase that sense of worthiness at any time by taking actions to reinforce your self-worth beliefs. There are lots of things you can do to grow and maintain your self-worth, like taking care of yourself, getting exercise, being kind to yourself, and saying no when it feels right.

Innate self-worth means that you accept and honor yourself and the uniqueness that makes you different from everyone else. You know that no matter what, you are worthy of loving and being loved...simply because you ARE you.

The difference between self-worth and self-esteem

Self-worth and self-esteem...are they two different concepts? Many people use the two terms interchangeably, but others believe that these are two distinct and unique concepts entirely.

Let’s consider self-worth

How “worthy” or valuable do you believe you are? Do you feel you deserve the things you desire? The answer to these questions determines your self-worth.  It might surprise you to know that many gifted individuals have very low levels of self-worth and will subconsciously sabotage any potential success at the first opportunity.

Your self-worth is largely built up during your early childhood years. You’re essentially told what your worth is by your parents, how they act and react to you, and the quality of attention you get from them. If they have done well, you will treat yourself as if you’re valuable.

Setting realistic yet ambitious goals that stretch your limits shows you what you’re capable of achieving. Reaching those goals proves to you that you’re worth the result, thereby growing and maintaining a healthy sense of self-worth. And your success can be seen as anything that you’ve achieved that holds value for you, whether it’s a higher paying job, learning a new skill, or having healthy relationships.

Let’s talk about self-esteem

Your self-esteem can be determined by things outside yourself — like rejection. It instantly changes the way you think, and feel, about yourself. One of the best ways to reinforce your self-esteem is to surround yourself with supportive people who like and enjoy you and appreciate your unique talents and skills. Everyone deserves this treatment from those who are part of their inner circle.

When you take a hit to your self-esteem, the good news is — you can recover quickly by doing things you’re good at. By understanding that there are distinct things you are great at doing, that hit on your self-esteem will hurt less, and soon you’ll feel great again!

Building Your Self Worth

You are born with an innate sense of self-worth that you can build on and develop as you grow. There are five key components to building up your self-worth, and we’ll explore all five to find out a bit about each.

1 | Know and understand yourself — Knowing who you are inside has nothing to do with what you have or what you’ve done. It IS about knowing what makes you uniquely and unquestionably you. What do you love, what don’t you? What do you appreciate? What sorts of things and experiences do you value? A great question to ask that will help you understand what you value about yourself is: If everything I own, and everything I love, was taken from me tomorrow, and all I had was myself...what would I be able to offer the world?

2 | Accept yourself at this moment — Accepting yourself means valuing who you are in the present moment, irrespective of what you may have done in the past that you’d rather not think about. The good news is that you don’t have to think about it! Being able to accept yourself means no judgments, no looking back, and no looking forward. Just here and now, and who you are at this moment, including the good and the bad, the perfect and the flawed parts of yourself.

3 | Unreservedly love yourself — A very large part of increasing your self-worth is learning to love and care for yourself. Make sure you’re taken care of and that your needs are met. Practice positive and compassionate thinking about yourself, and yourself. This is where you let go of that negative self-talk, self-loathing, and negative thinking patterns. Everybody has flaws and faults. It helps make us who we are as individuals. But it doesn’t invalidate our value.

4 | Acknowledge yourself — This is where you begin to truly realize that everything external to you — has no bearing on who you are and what you are fundamentally worth to yourself and the world. When these external things no longer serve you, you must learn to let them go. Instead, you’ve grown a much stronger sense of self that no longer relies on these external things.

5 | You are accountable — Now, you are in command, and it is you and only you who is responsible for your actions, your life experiences, your challenges, and your unique situations. You have the necessary power to control your entire world.

My final thought

No matter who you are, or what you have been through, I believe that you are good enough, that you are strong enough, that you deserve your desires because you are born a worthy human being.

For more information, read the following post by Stephanie Jade Wong.

13 Things That Don’t Determine Your Self Worth

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Can I Change My Mindset?

Your mindset is a belief that can be changed

In the last post if you saw a need for a mindset change you may be asking yourself, can I change my mindset? Is it worth the effort? And the answer is a resounding YES. You can change your mindset if you believe you can.

Our beliefs have a profound impact on our behavior.  While our behaviors determine the quality of our lives, our beliefs largely determine our behaviors. Beliefs are really the core to everything you do and become.

“Anytime you use the words, I can’t, I have to, or I’m not good at, you’ve discovered a potential limiting belief.”

— JOSH KAUFMAN

It is along the same line as the half-empty/half-full concept. In both theories, it points out the power of having a positive mindset. There are positives in everything. Sometimes you must look harder to find them over the more apparent negatives.

For example, you are a hard worker and never give up, however, you never seem to get ahead. If you believe that you can only hold an entry-level job, you will never attempt anything else. In this instance, your life is dependent on changing whatever limiting beliefs you may have into new positive beliefs.

We all make choices in life; some of us choose to see the negative in everything, while other people undergoing the same situation see nothing but the positives. How can that be? Two people experiencing the same thing but emotionally feeling what they experience at opposite ends of the spectrum. It is almost as if each is wearing a set of glasses that categorize the experience differently.

Begin with how you feel

Before we get into the “how” of changing your mindset, let’s first look at why it is beneficial to see the positives in everything. The mind is a powerful thing in that it controls all parts of your body. Researchers have found in multiple studies that having a positive outlook produces some beneficial health benefits. For one, they found it increases the immune system. It is a proven fact that positive people are generally healthier both mentally and physically.

And positive people have a lower stress level because they can effectively deal with stress better. As a result, they have less cortisol careening through their body, a known hormone responsible for weight gain, so they control their weight better.

Besides having an improved immune system and better weight control, having a positive mindset also helps you:

· lower the risk of a cardiovascular event

· lower rates of depression

· and surprisingly live a longer life

Shift your mindset to one of positivity

While there are several things one can do to improve their mindset, here are some that provide the most benefits:

Begin your day with a positive affirmation –how you start the morning sets the tone for the rest of the day. Many people like to write down their affirmation in a notebook or journal. Writing it down is more effective than just verbalizing it to yourself.

See the good in a situation -We all face conditions during our day that can be viewed as either good or bad. For example, if stuck in traffic, view it as an opportunity to listen to your favorite podcast or to your favorite music instead of a waste of time going nowhere.

Change negative self-talk into positive -Instead of saying “I’m so bad at doing this” say “I’ll be better at doing this after I have more practice.” At the least, you should tell yourself “I’m not very good at this -yet.”

Focus on today -The past is yesterday, there is nothing you can do about it; the future is tomorrow and not here yet, so there is little to be done about it; but today is now and you can either choose to experience it positively or negatively; the choice is yours!

Surround yourself with positive people -Positive people have a positive outlook on life, quote positive affirmations, and generally say positive things. Over time, these positive thoughts rub off on you, sink into your brain and you become a more positive person because of them. However, the opposite is true if you surround yourself with negative people. Again, it is your choice; choose wisely!

You Can Change Any Belief

If you have limiting beliefs, this process is designed to help you change them to beliefs that better serve you.

Write down your answers to these questions:

1.  Which belief do you want to change? You need to be able to see it to work with it effectively. So, write it down. For example, one limiting belief you might have is: I will never have a lot of money.

2.  What has the belief cost you? Make a list of all the ways this belief has negatively impacted your life. Really think about it, because it helps to have as much negative ammunition to get rid of that old belief as you can get. Spend some time; it might even take a couple of days to get a complete list.

3.  What advantages have the belief provided you? Maybe believing that you could never be wealthy has allowed you to avoid taking risks. Or perhaps it has allowed you to work in a profession that's easy for you. It might be hard to figure out what the advantages are, but they are there.

4.  What new belief would you like to have as a replacement? For example, for the belief listed above, a new replacement might be: I can make any amount of money I set my mind to. Be thoughtful and develop a new belief that will serve you well in the future.

5.  How is the new belief better than the old belief? Come up with an emotionally charged list of ways in which the new belief will impact your life for the better. Consider how you would feel. What could you become? How would your lifestyle change? Would it help other people around you?

6.  How can you start demonstrating the new belief today? Following our wealth theme, it might not be the right time to plan the interior of your private jet just yet. What could you do right now? Plan how you intend to make more money. Begin looking for a better-paying job? Look for ways to invest the money you already have? Even a small change can help the process.

It may not be easy at first but taking the time to complete the steps above will simplify it. Each day try to behave as if you hold the new belief. What would you wear? How would you speak? How would you view the world? How would you make decisions? How would you react to good news? Bad news?

Beliefs can be difficult to change, as they're frequently developed at a young age, so you might have lived in accordance with your limiting beliefs for a long time. However, with diligence and attention, they can be altered. Changing your beliefs will change your life.

My final thought

In this article, we covered some health benefits of having a positive mindset and some ways you can use it to become a more positive person. We also looked at beliefs and methods to alter their impact on your behaviors and mindsets. By working on these either singly or in tandem you are assured of positive changes in your mindset and your life.

Here is the link to What Is A Limiting Belief by Josh Kaufman.

And a previous post of mine Is Your Mindset Naturally Active or Passive.

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