Why We Fail To Achieve Our New Year Resolutions

We all have areas where we want to improve ourselves; health, work, family, you name it. But reality sets in along with a busy schedule that doesn’t leave any space for a new goal. We also rarely have the persistence needed to see it through. Or maybe we just don’t know where or how to start.

The statistics of those who keep their New Year resolutions is pretty sad. None the less, for those who make the effort and persevere they will find value in the trying.

Resolutions maintained:

·         Past the first week: 75%

·         Past two weeks: 71%

·         After one month: 64%

·         After six months: 46%

We tend to think of failure as something shameful or undesirable because it makes us feel like crap. Understandably, failing to achieve a goal is often cause for negative feelings, no matter how big or small that goal was.

But those feelings can be changed when we understand failure is part of the process of success and teaches valuable lessons if we know how to learn from it.

Three ways to redefine failure and learn from it effectively.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes

Learning from your mistakes is about more than just thinking about what went wrong. It’s about clarity, the chance to see why a particular thing doesn’t work.

Think about it

Mistakes are not just a natural part of embarking on a new project; but also part of the human experience. As such, they should be accepted as necessary steps toward achieving your goals.

Intelligent mistakes

Having the freedom to make mistakes increases creativity. Without unnecessary pressures to avoid mistakes a creative solution to the problem can often be found.

Whatever the source of the mistake, removing any negative feelings about it and re-framing it as a source of new knowledge is the first step toward learning from failure effectively.

But what's next?

Rethink your approach to your resolution

Now that you're looking at the mistake without judgment, think of how you got into the situation.

If your dedication and focus decreased at any time, make note of it and try to find the cause. Identifying the internal and external causes that affected your resolve helps you prepare to meet them in the future.

In some cases, discussing the failure with someone you trust can help you see the issues from a different perspective. Rely on your support network to pinpoint what went wrong and how you could prevent it.

Plan ahead

Identifying what caused the mistake is not enough to prevent it in the future. You need to take steps to prevent that mistake from happening again.

If your goal was to write a novel in six months, you've probably identified a few reasons why you couldn't achieve it - lack of time, insufficient planning, or lack of motivation.

But what can you do to prevent those issues from getting in the way of your goal in the future? In our example, you could scale down the scope of the novel, spend more time planning the story, or set a specific time to write undisturbed.

In summary, failure is not permanent. By accepting failure, analyzing its causes and defining how you can eliminate those causes, you're on your way to achieving your goals.

Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it. Make your mistakes, next year and forever.

Neil Gaiman

An individualized growth/goal plan can help you achieve the vision you have of yourself. It’s something we need to consciously think about and strive toward. If you don’t plan your own development and growth, no one else will.

4 Steps you can take for an easy-to-implement, personalized plan.

1. Know yourself honestly

In order to plan for the future, you have to reflect on your past experiences, your weaknesses and strengths; they’ve made you who you are today. You also have to clarify your own unique values, such as integrity, respect for others, leadership, honesty. Your values define your stance. Moreover, there are several important questions you have to ask yourself:

• What do I want to become in life?

• What are my achievements up until now?

• What are my personal goals?

• What are my career ambitions?

• What steps have I taken to pursue these goals and ambitions?

2. Develop your vision

Once you’ve asked and answered these questions, you’ll have a clear vision of who you are and what you want out of life. This takes us to the second step; developing your vision. How does your new resolution/goal fit into your overall life and personal growth? A smart tip is to provide yourself with several options to reach your next goal.

That way, if something goes wrong or you face an obstacle, you can switch to another path. Be flexible in your planning because life often intervenes in unexpected ways.

Another point people tend to not pay attention to is what they aren’t willing to do. This shares equal importance with what you will do.

3. Assess your present-day situation

Putting your strengths to good use will harness your energy levels so that it’s utilized efficiently. You can set up milestones along the way because smaller goals give you the motivation and drive you need to get to the big ones. And each time you reach a milestone or achieve one of the small goals, reward yourself for your hard work.

4. Review your progress

Each project needs to be reviewed and assessed, and your exclusive growth plan is no different. You can do it on a monthly basis, or every couple of months, whatever feels comfortable for you. But it’s crucial that you take a step back and look at all the hard work you’ve accomplished.

Check to see if you’ve left anything out or missed any deadlines. Maybe the mini-goals you set up no longer fit your criteria any longer, and they need tweaking or readjusting. Reflect on your experience and consider everything you’ve learned. This will ensure that you keep moving forward according with your long-term plan and the vision you’ve set up for yourself.

On a final note, you can draw up the perfect plan but if you don’t follow through, you won’t get anywhere. Everyone needs practice to develop and grow, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone. Having something to strive toward can renew your self-confidence and that increases your passion for life.

If you know someone who could use this information please share it with them.

How Forgiveness Makes Us Happier and Healthier

We occasionally come face to face with people whom for one reason or another we have not forgiven some trespass of theirs in the past or even worse yet we are the party guilty of something unforgivable. Whether they are family or friends we seldom or no longer speak to it is always an uncomfortable meeting.

Forgiveness Can Restore Your Life

Once you realize that forgiveness doesn’t excuse or condone a transgression. It may be easier to enjoy the benefits of the true meaning of forgiveness.

Whether justice is served with apologies, reparation or other positive actions, forgiveness can lift the burden of anger and resentment and give you back your thoughts.

When you practice forgiveness, you gift yourself with a much deserved freedom, to get on with your life and give the person who wronged you the least amount of thought and time possible.

When you forgive, you’re releasing the burden of what happened from your shoulders. Making the decision to rid your mind of thoughts of revenge and anger. Choosing instead the happy and peaceful memories that lie in the future.

Forgiveness – Getting There

You may want to be able to forgive – to release the anger that’s dominating your thoughts and making your stomach churn – but you don’t know how. Or, perhaps the wrong perpetrated against you was so heinous that forgiveness seems out of the question.

You may be afraid that if you forgive, you’re “giving in.” You need not forget the memory of the transgression nor let the person who perpetrated it back into your life. You’re never obligated to condone the action or display kindness toward the person. That’s not what true forgiveness is.

The best way you can begin to forgive is to practice controlling your thought process. When negative thoughts of revenge and anger first appear, practice booting them out immediately and replace them with positive thoughts – of doing something for yourself.

Others are not always at fault. So don’t continue to beat yourself up if you have acted in a way that has harmed YOU in the past. Let go of what you can’t change. Choose forgiveness for yourself

Spend your energy in positive ways rather than dwelling on past, hurtful instances. Keep in mind that you’re not making the transgression “okay” if you choose not to think about it. You’re trading the harm that the thoughts are causing in your energy and life for a more abundant and happier life.

Forgiveness Shows Character

If you can forgive, you’re way ahead in strength of character. It takes courage and commitment to forgive and not seek revenge for every wrong done against you. Forgiveness is a virtue that deals with temperance – and temperance is the action we take against excess in everything – anger, food, envy and other emotional triggers.

When you forgive, you’re making a conscious effort to live a happier, more active and authentic life that strengthens your character even more because you’ve worked through a major problem to success.

With forgiveness, you must acknowledge the pain perpetrated against you. After you forgive, you’ll soon be aware that you have no more thoughts of revenge and you may not even feel anger for the person who hurt you.

Letting go of negative thoughts certainly doesn’t take away the pain and hurt, but it helps you move it into a category of the “past” so you can get on with your future. The ability to move past the hurts and into the realm of forgiveness is a huge character builder because all the steps you have to take discard the negative portions of your character while replacing them with positive ones.

Get Your Power Back with Forgiveness

When something has happened to shake your trust or belief in another person (especially someone you love), you may feel anger and resentment for a long time. You can reduce the power that the other person has over your feelings and actions by forgiving and letting go of the destructive emotions and the hurt of past transgressions.

These self-destructive emotions and thoughts can cost you dearly in terms of power for yourself. Forgiveness is a tried and true way for victims to reclaim their power and gain power over the person who wronged them. If you don’t choose to forgive, the transgressor retains the power over you.

You may always remember the hurt or tragedy you suffered through the act of another person, but that doesn’t mean that it has to stalk you forever. When you forgive, you get a type of peace and calm without condoning the act or excusing the person who transgressed against you.

Keep in mind that there’s no timeline for forgiveness. It should happen when and only when you’re ready and not when others say you should move on or it would be better for you if you moved on.

How Forgiveness is its Own Revenge

The only way to move beyond what you’ve been through is with authentic forgiveness.

Some stages involved in the process are:

1. Don’t think you can change the past. Wanting a different outcome won’t make it happen. You’re left with the reality of what happened and although you can’t change it, you can let go of that hope and get on with the future.

2. Make a decision that you won’t seek revenge on the other person. When you forgive, you make a conscious decision not to seek justice by yourself. Rather, living your life the best you can will be the best revenge.

3. Move beyond the bitterness. That happens when you actively choose to replace the vindictive and negative thoughts with positive ones. How can you change your life for the better and open yourself up to new relationships? When you figure it out, forgiveness is possible.

4. Mentally end resentment and anger and need for revenge. Your thoughts control your actions and to some degree, your body. Only positive thoughts and a decision to end the negative can get you out of the prison of thoughts of revenge.

 

 Mental, Physical and Spiritual Benefits of Forgiveness

The power of forgiveness has long been touted by religions of the world as a way to reach a higher level of spirituality. During recent decades, the power of forgiveness is also discussed among medical and psychological professionals as a method to let go of anger and resentment and prevent health problems.

The mental benefits of forgiveness may include:

·  Ridding your mind of depression and lifting the anxiety you may feel from anger and resentment.

·  Clarity and focus. You’re better able to cope with reality and the matters at hand when you choose forgiveness over negative thoughts.

·  Protects against long-term stress. Poor mental health is often associated with stress and nothing causes stress like anger and resentment.

The physical benefits of forgiveness may include:

1. Lower blood pressure. Stress and anxiety may cause your blood pressure to soar. Forgiveness is letting go and can calm your nerves and mind.

2. Enjoy a longer and healthier life span. Unconditional forgiveness (not expecting an apology or reparations) is known to help people live longer and fuller lives.

3. Healthier immune system. If your immune system isn’t healthy, it has a much more difficult time fighting off diseases – both mental and physical.

Spiritual benefits of forgiveness may include:

1. Acceptance of others with compassion and understanding. Rather than concentrating on revenge, forgiveness can lead to spirituality.

2. Opens your heart and mind to others. Relationships can be improved with forgiveness.

3. Calm and peacefulness in your life. If you’ve ever experienced full-blown anger, you know how debilitating it can be. It interferes with sleep, physical functions and turns your spirit to hurt and dismay.

The Difference Between Reconciliation and Forgiveness

The act of forgiveness doesn’t always lead to reconciliation and vice versa. One isn’t necessarily dependent on the other. You can forgive without having any thoughts about restoring a relationship, and you can reconcile and “agree to disagree” without forgiving the other person.

You may think that in certain cases (such as with a spouse) you can’t possibly forgive without letting the person back in your life. For example, if your best friend has an affair with your husband, you may let both relationships fall to the wayside.

On the other hand, you can forgive the people involved so that you can get on with your own life. The harm done to your relationship may negate any possibility of reconciliation.

Forgiveness doesn’t require you to interact with the other person involved. Reconciliation does require your involvement and means that you actively engage with the offender.

The process of reconciliation means that you exchange a dialogue with the offender, express how you’ve been hurt and try to reestablish trust by moving past the hurt and anger and establish forgiveness.

One way to think about the difference between reconciliation and forgiveness is that reconciliation is accomplished by an outward process and forgiveness is given from inside with discipline and through a continuous process.

With forgiveness, apologies aren’t necessary, but they do help. Don’t expect participation from the offender when you choose to forgive. Give it freely and with love and acceptance in your heart.

Why it’s Difficult to Forgive

When someone we love and trusted has treated us with disdain the last thing on our minds is forgiveness. Our dreams have been shattered and we usually become angry. Forgiveness isn’t on the horizon.

If you’re infused with anger and resentment toward another person, your thoughts are likely full of negativity and blame. You may also have guilt for how you might have contributed to the situation or think that forgiving is only for the weak.

Being judgmental is also a reason why it’s so hard to forgive another. If you perceive the other person as not appreciating you or all you’ve done for them or the love and trust you’ve put in the relationship, it becomes even more difficult.

You can make the choice to forgive and still not reconcile or accept what they’ve done. But, when your harshness of judging begins to permeate your own life and make you bitter and resentful, forgiveness is that gift you give yourself so you can pick up the pieces and go on in a healthy manner.

Think of a time when you needed forgiveness for something you thoughtlessly did that hurt another person. How did you feel about how the other person reacted to the transgression? What would have made you understand the action you perpetrated better and help you see how hurtful it was?

Chances are, you reacted to the anger of the other person by making up excuses that it wasn’t really your fault. But, if that same person forgave you in a calm manner, it’s more likely you were better able to see the error of your ways and offer a sincere apology to that person.

For more on Forgiveness please check out this post from Mindvalley.

How To Forgive Others And Set Yourself Free

Please share this post with anyone you feel can benefit from its message.

Using Self-Reflection To Your Advantage

Self-Reflection Can Make You Happier, More Successful, and Produce Inner Growth

Reflection is such a good method for looking at what you have accomplished and how. Personal or working life it doesn’t matter. Most of us have successes and goals met but we also shoulder some disappointment for those things we fell short in doing.

Self-reflection appears to be a dying art. People either feel they don’t have the time or that it’s a waste of time. Others are afraid to take a good, long, hard look at themselves. This is a mistake, because there is so much to be gained by examining yourself and your past.

Self-reflection provides many advantages that can make life easier:

1 | You learn about yourself. Most people are shockingly low in self-awareness. Some people are too busy, or at least they think they are. Others would prefer to distract themselves rather than spend one second in self-reflection.

However, there’s much to be learned by taking a few minutes each day and reviewing your day, the choices you made, the positives and the negatives.

When you know yourself, you can make better plans that utilize your strengths and avoid your weaknesses.

Recognizing your weaknesses and dealing with them is powerful. You can stop shooting yourself in the foot over and over.

2 | You learn from your past. If you look at the biggest mistakes you’ve made over your life, you’ll find they’re surprisingly similar. You may have either spent money you couldn’t afford, got involved with someone you shouldn’t, or made poor decisions to get away from stressful situations.

If you’ve never taken the time to review these mistakes, you’ve repeated them.

Reviewing the past can also help you to identify what works, and then you can advantageously repeat those actions.

3 |Take intelligent, thoughtful action. Many people are very action oriented and avoid “wasting” time on thinking too much. Rather than just jumping in with both feet, it can be incredibly helpful to spend some time thinking and strategizing.

Reflect on what you actually want to accomplish for yourself. Ask yourself a few questions and use the answers wisely.

“Sometimes you have to look back in order to understand the things that lie ahead.”

— Yvonne Woon

Graham Gibbs is an academic who studies self-reflection. He developed a six-step process to aid in self-reflection. This process can be used as a guide to help you get into the swing of things.

Use Mr. Gibbs’ process to examine your past and present: 

1. What happened? This is simple enough. Describe the event to yourself. “I dropped out of college.”
   

2. What was I thinking and feeling? What were you thinking at the time? What did you think afterwards? “I was stressed and failing. I felt a sense of relief when I first dropped out, but then I felt a sense of dread and felt lost.”
   

3. What was good or bad about the experience? “I gained free time and my stress was relieved. But, now I don’t have a plan for my future and my job prospects are much more limited.”
   

4. How does this affect the various parts of my life? What does it say about me? “My personal and career development is stifled. My significant other is upset with me and threatening to leave. My parents kicked me out of the house and told me to find a job. This suggests that I am impulsive and handle stress poorly.”
   

5. What else could I have done? “Talked to a friend. Spoken to my professors. Sought professional help. Learned meditation or yoga. Lightened my course load.”
   

6. If this happened again, how would I handle it? “I would consider the long-term implications instead of just the short. I would get the help I need. I wouldn’t consider quitting to be a viable option.”

Although thinking about the past means looking back, there is value in it for moving your path forward. Reflection produces growth that makes each forward step more informed.

At the end of each day, or at least once a week, reflect on your experiences. When you stop to assess your response to things, you will learn valuable details about yourself. Consider the impact of your actions and take away lessons on how to act in the future.

You grow spiritually when you focus on the wellness of your soul. Spending time meditating on past highs and lows connects you to your true inner self.

Your growth as a friend and loved one is evident when you take time to recall others’ observations of you. The perspective of the special people in your life is valuable to your development. These are the people who walk hand in hand with you along the road of life.

When another birthday rolls around, compare your current self to your former self. Take some time to assess your evolution and identify any newfound strengths. It is exciting to see that growth from year to year.

Self-reflection is a useful tool that’s free to learn and apply. Imagine being able to leverage your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, and avoid repeating your mistakes.

You can make good use of those painful events from your past. Spend a few minutes each day and apply a little self-reflection. You’ll be happy with the results.

If you haven’t spent much time on reflection, the time is perfect right now. You still have time to really dig into how this year was for you. The good and the not so good. Now is the time to put these suggestions to work. See if identifying your strengths and using a rinse and repeat method for those actions, will move you toward your personal and professional goals in the coming New Year.

If you liked this post please share it with everyone you believe can benefit.

Fighting Fair for Couples

It takes time and understanding to manage a loving relationship. Regardless of how much we love each other and work at our romantic relationship, there are bound to be difficulties that lead to arguments. This can be more evident for Seniors who spend a larger amount of time in one another’s company without the buffer of jobs or the raising of a family.

We are two very different people trying to live one life together, after all. When fights do occur, don’t let them descend into a free-for-all. Just like every other “game” in life, there are rules to fighting that everyone in love should abide by if they want to maintain their happy relationship.

We all have to face up to the fact that we will have to begin conversations about touchy subjects throughout life. We may try to put them off for as long as possible because we don’t want to deal with them, but eventually, to keep the relationship healthy, we must.

As the years fly by we often take one another for granted. So, we become careless or neglectful of our partner’s feelings. We often sabotage or damage our partnership without realizing it until later. For some it can be too late.

These nine tips are designed to help couples fight fairly

Choose your timing carefully

It may never feel like the exact right time because you know it’s going to be a difficult conversation to have. Don’t pounce on your partner unexpectedly wanting them to change a long held pattern of behavior. Especially if this is something they have done for years and you are just now addressing this issue.

It can take real self-discipline to hold your tongue when you want to get something worked out right away. It’s better to schedule your conversation for a time when you are both relaxed and feeling well. When both of you are in a good frame of mind to discuss a difficult subject the conversation can end up not as challenging as you expected. If we blurt out our grievance without taking into consideration the mental state of the other person, or have given them no previous warning, we inevitably make the argument much larger than it needs to be.

Use “I” language

We’ve all heard this, but it bears repeating. The other person is immediately on the defensive when a sentence starts with “You do ___ and I don’t like it….”  It’s just human nature because it feels like we are being attacked. But keep in mind that no one can make us feel anything - only we ourselves can do that. So, switch your “you dos” to “I’s.” Say something like, “I feel ___ when you do ___.” It’s not just semantics - to show that you are in control of your feelings. You are focusing on the feelings instead of the behavior you don’t like. This allows the other person feel safe enough to let down their guard and discuss the situation rationally, instead of feeling blamed.

Focus on the now

It’s so easy to get all worked up and start pulling out grievances from months or years past. Most people tend to argue about the same type of issue over and over. For example, money and household responsibilities issues are common, even in the most loving relationships. Take care to avoid bringing up the past. And, if one of these slips out, apologize and come back to the current issue. (Note: if certain past issues continue to rear their ugly heads, it’s likely you have never truly resolved them.)

“At the end of the day, you can either focus on what’s tearing you apart or what’s keeping you together.”  - Anonymous

Never say never

This connects with the tip above. When you start throwing around words like always and never which are all encompassing, you know you are in dangerous territory. It’s usually an overstatement that simply escalates the fighting and does not accomplish anything or rectify the situation.

Discounting their feelings

We do this when we argue about the way they say they feel. Things like, “You shouldn’t feel that way because I didn’t mean it like that.” or getting angry when they share their feelings, even in a non-accusatory way can make the other person feel like their feelings don’t matter to you. Feelings are real. Obviously, you can’t maintain a firm connection with another person when they think their feelings are unimportant to you. Our feelings are our reality, and everyone’s reality is different because the way we experience things is different. Take care to avoid making your loved one believe they are wrong for having the experience that they are.

Believing one of you is right and the other is wrong

We live in a world of dichotomies. If something is wrong, something else must be right. But just as we explained above, everyone experiences the same situations differently based on our upbringing and background. These things shape the way we view situations. Many times, no one is right or wrong. We just need to come together long enough to understand that we don’t see things the same way and that there is nothing wrong in that. We can still have a strong committed relationship despite our differing views of reality.

Keep your feelings in check

Allow enough time to have passed so that you aren’t as emotional or angry as you originally were. When we bring a heavy dose of emotion into a difficult situation, it only amplifies everything - the words, thoughts, and feelings of everyone involved. The wrong words or a strong tone of voice can feel like an attack Before you bring up the topic, make sure that you can discuss it as objectively as possible. It will make the whole thing go more smoothly.

Listen without thinking

When it’s the other person’s turn to explain their side of the story or version of the situation, keep your thoughts clear. Really hear what they are saying to you. To do that, you must refrain from thinking about how you will respond when they are finished. We do this frequently in all types of conversations, and we should do our best to avoid it. But it’s never more important than when we are having a difficult conversation with someone we care about.

Understand that conflict happens

Even in the closest, most loving relationships, conflict is going to occur sometimes. If you have built a strong, healthy relationship with the other person, don’t let your fears of losing them run away with you. Strong relationships can tolerate the occasional argument or uncomfortable talk. It’s much better than the alternative, which is to bottle up anger and hurt, which results in a build-up of resentment. And we all know what happens when things build to a boiling point, they explode. Don’t let your loving relationship be swept away in that explosion.

For more information about what to expect if you Divorce After 20 Years of Marriage or More take a look at this post from the Equitable Mediation Services blog.

If you know anyone who could benefit from this information, please share this post with them.

Tips For Developing Your Daily Optimism

 Negative Thoughts Sap Your Optimism

Despite your best intentions, it’s not always easy to take an optimistic view of life. Negative thinking can creep into your mind, and before you realize it, your mindset is sabotaging you.

1.     Comparing your life with others

Try to avoid comparing your life and achievements with other people. Your life has a value of its own. You can be sure that if you envy your friends or colleagues weddings, PhDs, babies, or luxury holidays, other people envy your accomplishments too.

2.     Having negative self-worth

Do a quick review of your self-talk. Chances are there will be quite a few negatives in there. Practice catching yourself the next time you start thinking badly of yourself. You can do without that kind of self-sabotage!

3.     Thinking you don’t have time

We all get the same amount of time. Twenty-four/seven is the maximum, so make sure you use your time to do the things you want to do, as well the things you must do. If you have a pet project or skill you want to learn, then prioritize it in your schedule.

4.     Underestimating yourself

You can do pretty much whatever you want. Deciding that you can’t do something before you even try is de-energizing and demotivating. What is your secret, passionate goal? What do you need to do to get there?  

5.     Using delaying tactics

There are a whole bunch of sneaky delaying tactics that on the surface appear to be good sense. Saving a certain amount of money, or losing weight before you try a new project, is just another way of saying you can’t do it now.

6 Ways to Cultivate Optimism Each Day

You might be surprised to hear that optimism is not an innate quality. Optimism and pessimism are ways of looking at yourself and the world through a positive or negative filter.  Once you think of them as reflections of your mindset, it becomes much easier to believe you can change. Like any new behavior, you need to practice every day for it to become a habit.  

1.     Keep a journal

Journaling or keeping a diary allows you to process events and to get a different perspective on them. It encourages self-reflection and captures insights into your thinking and behavior. You can write down what happened during your day and document, not just the bald facts but how you did it, what you did to make it happen and what you did right. And, importantly, how it felt while you were doing it. Don’t just record the good things (a promotion, a presentation or meeting that went well), remember to write down the thing that didn’t go so well and reflect on what happened, how you dealt with it, and what you might do differently next time.

2.     Laugh

Consciously notice the funny side of things and write them down. If the technology didn’t work, and you had to give the presentation without the slide deck, or the power went out, or there was a fire drill in the middle of your crucial meeting. What can seem like a disaster at the time can also be looked back on as a comedy of errors.

3.     Write to your future

Write a letter or a journal entry that sets out the future you want. What job are you doing? Are you running your own business? What have you learned? What has changed? Imagining how your future life looks and feels can be a powerful motivator.

4.     Keep a kindness list

Have a page in your journal where you note down kind gestures. Write down when you are kind to someone, or when someone is kind to you. Even little things count, like opening a door for someone or letting them go first in the line for coffee. You’ll be surprised at how quickly they mount up, and your ever-lengthening list will give you a different perspective on things.

5.     Say thank you

Write a letter or email, phone or visit someone (a person outside your family) who has been genuinely kind to you. Tell them how much you appreciate what they did or said and how it has affected your life.

6.     Choose positivity

Make the positive choice to develop and maintain an optimistic outlook. Do this every morning when you wake up. Decide that today is going to be a great day. Everyone will have some level of suffering in their life. Choosing to be optimistic will make it easier to bounce back from the bad times and to enjoy and be certain of the good times.

“Optimism doesn’t wait on facts. It deals with prospects.”

— Norman Cousins

5 Benefits of Daily Optimism

There is increasing evidence that being optimistic about life has measurable benefits, not just for your mental health, but your physical well-being too. Scientific studies have shown that as you become more optimistic, your life will improve in all sorts of ways. You’re even likely to have a longer life, just from being more hopeful and positive.

1.     Optimists are healthier

Optimists not only rate their own health and well-being as better, but studies have also shown that optimists have better mental and physical health than pessimists. In a study of the effects of positive psychological well-being, optimism was found to be the biggest predictor of improved heart health. Optimists also have lower blood pressure and cholesterol and a lower risk of developing heart disease.

2.     Optimists live longer

A study by the University of Pittsburgh found that of the 100,000 women studied over eight years, optimists were less likely to die from any cause than women with a more pessimistic outlook.  That was confirmed by a later Harvard study that showed the women who had a positive outlook had a much lower risk (nearly 30% less) of dying from serious illnesses.

3.     Optimists are happier

It might seem obvious that an optimist would be happier than a pessimist. But, it has been shown that optimists are not just sunnier in their dispositions, but they are measurably happier in their relationships, jobs, and life in general. They deal better with stress, are more resilient in bad times, and produce less cortisol, the stress hormone that leads to inflammation and a lowered immune system.

4.     Optimists have smoother career paths

Researchers from Duke University found that the optimistic MBA graduates they studied were more likely to find a job, earn a higher starting salary, and have more frequent promotions than the pessimists in the group. Optimists also deal better with negative feedback, seeing it as an opportunity to improve and increase their chance of promotion in the future.

5.     Optimists roll with the punches

Life’s adversities do not crush an optimist; they remain hopeful about the future. Optimism helps you deal with whatever limiting beliefs you have developed and shows you a way out. Being positive about life’s possibilities means you focus on what you can do. It boosts your confidence and makes you more likely to look for constructive solutions. It stops you feeling stuck or at the mercy of other people. If you’re optimistic, you know you can do it!

4 Tips to Develop Daily Optimism

Optimism is a learned skill like any other skill or habit you want to develop. Having an optimistic attitude of yourself, of life and the world can have a huge impact on your mental well-being and resilience, even boosting your immune system and lowering your blood pressure. Studies have shown that optimists have better career prospects and live longer happier lives. 

1.     Identify as an optimist

Self-talk is powerful! Start telling people you’re an optimist, and you’ll soon begin to believe it, and forget you were ever even slightly pessimistic. It never hurts to Act How You Want to Feel.

2.     Accentuate the positives

Notice and acknowledge the positive things around you. Small things like having good food, clean water, and being able to read this article for example. A good exercise is to list ten things you’re grateful for every day – they don’t have to be big things, jot down whatever comes to mind.  

3.     Shift your focus

Optimism is dynamic and forward-looking. Develop a more optimistic outlook by moving on from the past and instead enjoy the present and actively look forward to the future. Optimists also don’t spend much time dwelling on whatever not-so-good things are in their lives. They acknowledge that bad things happen to everyone, and when bad things do happen, it’s not necessarily their fault. Bad times come, and bad times go, it can’t rain forever. And, good times usually happen just as often.

4.     Don’t get hung up on one outcome

Putting all your eggs in one basket is risky, and it’s highly likely you will be disappointed. It’s also harder to pick up and move on if things don’t work out. An optimist will be flexible about outcomes and see that there are many different ones.

If you liked this post please be kind to your friends and share it.

I have a free report for you on my shop page: How Optimism Improves Your Life

This is What Scientists Say About Mindfulness and Optimism

You’ve probably heard or read a lot about mindfulness lately. Mindfulness is a way of living your life consciously, being aware of what you’re doing and why and why you should be more present in the moment. To live mindfully is an aspect of creating an optimistic view of yourself and the world. Mindfulness and optimism are connected but not the same.

Scientists agree that your mindset and whether you tend to be pessimistic or optimistic is something you can change. Only about 25% of optimism is inheritable, with the rest influenced by the environment where you grew up. And if your home environment was dysfunctional or tense, you are more likely to develop a pessimistic mindset. But it is not an innate part of you, and you can change it. Once you realize that you are not hard-wired for pessimistic thinking, it becomes easier to allow yourself to make that change.

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

— Winston Spencer Churchill

Mindset is something that’s relatively easy to change. When you can step back and see how your mind was programmed, you then have the ability to take back control and hit the reset. Research has shown that there’s a part of your brain called the Reticular Activating System (RAS) that acts as a kind of control center and filters information from the outside world according to your current settings. And if you tune into to negativity, that’s what you will receive. But just as you can adjust your email to prioritize and filter messages, you can reset your RAS to help increase your optimism and filter out negativity. What you are doing in essence is training your brain to notice what YOU want it to notice. And practicing mindfulness can help you do just that.

For more information on mindfulness take a look at one of my previous posts.

10 Best Reasons For You To Become Mindful

Mindfulness and meditation are complementary techniques that will help you build a strong basis for optimism. Studies have shown that mindfulness practices can help you:

Remain in the present

Negativity is often fostered by brooding on past events and wishing you had done things differently. Mindfulness focuses your attention on what’s happening in the here and now. An optimistic view of the world stays in the present and looks forward to a bright future.

Re-framing

Mindfulness gives you the mental space to be able to re-frame problems as challenges and opportunities. You have a choice about how you want to react to the circumstances you find yourself in now. Choosing to be optimistic will help you solve those problems and find creative solutions as well as not be overwhelmed by them.

Healthy Improvement

Optimism and mindfulness have been scientifically proven to improve your health! People who practice mindfulness and who have an optimistic approach to life have:

·        lower cholesterol

·        lower blood pressure

·        stronger immune systems

·        better resilience to deal with stress

·        less anxiety and depression

·        more positive relationships

·        improved focus

Begin Your New Career No Schooling Necessary

Some retirees think that going back to school to learn something new is the only answer to beginning a new career. That’s no longer true. Unless you have a driving passion and an overwhelming desire to spend time in a classroom, you can begin an online career right away.

You’ll make the leap from having a boss and a 9 to 5 schedule to being your own boss and setting your own hours. After many years at a job, that’s commonly what retirees long for most. If you don’t have a degree – don’t worry. You don’t need one.

What you will need is your knowledge and experience that you’ve garnered over time and a passion for something you can turn into an online business. You won’t need a large amount of startup cash.

In fact, establishing an online business can be started on a shoestring budget and embellished and expanded later when you’re making money. Many retirees begin their new online careers by setting up a blog.

A blog is based on a subject you know well and have had some experience in. It could be based on the hobby that you love or your travels. Travel blogs are very popular with retirees who always wanted to travel, but never had the time or money.

You can share your travel experiences with others who love to travel on your blog. You’ll write short articles about what you’ve experienced and offer tips and advice on the areas you visit, where to stay, or even what and how to pack.

Be sure that you write about relevant subjects that are truly helpful and real. You’ll build an audience of followers that are anxious to read your blogs to see what exciting adventures you’re off to now.

“You don’t need to be a genius or a visionary, or even a college graduate for that matter, to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream.”

— Michael Dell

You can even go as far out as to have a blog about potty-training puppies. It seems that almost every family (and individuals) has at least one dog in their house and if you have some tips up your sleeve about dogs, they’ll read your blogs.

When you begin to get an audience for your blog, you’ll want to look in to setting up links to products offered by other bloggers that will enhance what you offer. These will be your affiliate links and you will set up links to their websites.

Your followers who click on the links in your blog can purchase products that you recommend – and you get a commission each time they buy. When you have products to purchase, those affiliates might link to your site and send their website traffic your way.

Make sure you like the products you’re recommending or you’ll lose your audience’s trust. So if you have an interest or passion that has followed you throughout your life (and career), look at starting an online business that will give you an outlet for doing what you love while providing an extra income.

Not everyone is cut out for additional schooling. As a retiree, you can use the knowledge and experiences you’ve gained over the years to start another career – and this time, be your own boss.

For additional information I suggest you check out Melyssa Griffin’s blog post:

How + Why You Should think Beyond Your Blog If You Want To Monetize Your Site

Don't Be Beaten By Your Doubtful Mindset

You’re approaching retirement at breakneck speed. Where have the years gone? You’ve been told this is supposed to be your time, so why aren’t you looking forward to it? What will you do now to fill a few hours and keep your mind sharp?

Plagued by Self-Doubt

Seniors near to or well in to their retirement years are sometimes plagued with self-doubt. It’s not difficult to be mired in doubt when you see that you’re being replaced by incredibly young and inexperienced workers.

Age Discrimination

Many career paths have become discriminatory and have developed an ageism mindset. Fortunately, retirees no longer need worry about getting another job where that mindset is common. The internet offers a new way for you to succeed.

Retirement Income

Retirees have many things to worry about. Most are all too aware that their retirement income won’t be enough to pay all the bills – so a job isn’t a luxury – it’s a necessity. More and more retirees are finding that setting up an online business can free them from that worry.

Technology

Some of you may believe that the technological aspects will have you beaten from the outset. This is untrue. With most things on the internet being point and click it’s become very simple for anyone to have an online business.

Learning the Steps

There are hundreds of technological tutorials that can walk you through each and every thing you need to know about setting up, establishing, and making money with your own online business.

Experience or Hobby

In the world of internet businesses, you can establish another career path built on your experience – or perhaps the hobby you’ve enjoyed for years and have become proficient in – like traveling or gardening.

“You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream.”

— C.S. Lewis

Confidence

After you decide how you want your online business to represent you, you can begin with confidence rather than worrying about whether you have the skills and knowledge to compete.

Business Set Up

Best of all, setting up an online business won’t eat into your retirement nest egg. It takes a very small amount of cash for you to set up an online business initially. Many retirees actually set up their businesses before they retire.

No Leases

This gives you a chance to have your business up and running and even making money before the day comes when you can no longer depend on a paycheck that covers all of your expenses. There’s no expense for leasing a business space or office because your office is your laptop.

Set Your Own Hours

Your office can be wherever there’s an internet connection – sitting on your patio or in a small café in Paris. Set your own hours and take it easy for a change. Sleep in when you choose or visit your grandchildren for a while.

Learn From the Best

You’ll find there are mountains of information tutorials out there. Just make sure that you learn from the best and most successful online marketers. There’s a lot of false or misleading information, so take your time – play around with it – and set your business up properly.

To Your Success

If you’re looking at retirement in a few months or years, take some time to dream and transform your life during the retirement years by starting your own online business and becoming your own boss. Don’t doubt your future success – you can do it.

Here are 27 Easy to Start Online Business Ideas to get you thinking.